Ring Ring Ring Bananaphone
by Dixie Darlin
Summary: Based on that old flash video "Bananaphone". Behold, the REAL reason Turbo went crazy. Also starring the Turbo Twins! Rated for excessive use of strong language.


Just a random thought I had after I found that old flash video "Bananaphone". If you've never seen it...watch it. This is definitely not meant to be taken seriously by the way. Song is by Raffi, I think the video originated from Newsground or Ebaums World. Definitely a classic.

* * *

**Bananaphone**

One bright sunny day in_ TurboTime, _one of the Turbo Twins known as Ted was busy changing his tires in the garage, minding his own business when suddenly out of nowhere he heard this:

_Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop_

_Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop_

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Bananaphone_

"What the f**k?"

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Bananaphone_

_I've got this feeling, so appealing_

_For us to get together and sing...sing!_

Ted scratched his head and walked over to the other side of the garage where his brother Teddy was relaxing in a chair and Turbo was changing some fluid in his own car.

"What the hell's this song?"

Teddy glanced at his brother as if he were crazy.

"_What_ song?" he asked flatly.

Ted rolled his eyes. "The song _playing_, dumbass."

"We don't have it even have the radio on, bro."

_It grows in bunches_

_I've got my hunches_

_It's the best, beats the rest_

_Cellular, modular, interactive odular_

"Very funny, guys," Ted shot back. "I mean, seriously, bananaphone?"

"Will you shut up?" Turbo growled as he tried to concentrate. "We don't have the damn radio on."

Teddy laughed. "Bananaphone, what the f**k are you saying?"

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring bananaphone_

_Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping pananaphone_

"That's the song playing, I told you already."

Turbo turned around to look at him. "What the f**k are you talking about? If you two assholes are trying to piss me off, it's working perfectly."

"Dude, I can't believe you can't hear that!" Ted argued back.

_It's no baloney _

_It ain't a phony _

_My cellular, Bananularphone_

"Damn, it's getting louder!" Ted exclaimed, putting his hands to his ears. "Come on, guys, this isn't funny anymore!"

Turbo gritted his teeth and threw his wrench at Ted's face, knocking him back a few steps. "Shut the hell up, damn it! I can't concentrate with you yakking about f**king bananaphones." He grabbed a screwdriver out of his toolbox and went back to his car. "If you think you hear the radio, go change the damn volume yourself."

Ted rubbed his nose and wiped the blood off his face. "Well maybe I will!"

_Don't need quarters, don't need dimes _

_To call a friend of mine _

_Don't need computer or TV _

_To have a real good time_

Ted went over to the radio that was sitting on the shelf and realized to his horror that it was indeed turned off. He looked back at his two co-racers with wide eyes.

"Oh my God, I'm freaking out! The radio's not on!"

"Look, this joke's getting old," Teddy told him. "It stopped being funny like two minutes ago."

Ted's hands were shaking. "But I really do hear a damn song! Why don't you believe me?!"

_I call for pizza, I call my cat _

_I call the White House, have a chat_

"That's it!" Turbo threw his screwdriver back in his toolbox and wiped the grease off his hands with a towel. "Teddy, let's go get a beer. Your brother's pissing me the hell off."

"When we come back, no more bananaphone shit, okay?" Teddy told his brother with a pat on his back before he exited the garage.

"But..but...ahhh it's getting _louder_!" Ted screamed as he fell to his knees and pressing harder on his ears, trying to muffle the song.

**Four Hours Later**

Turbo and Teddy finally came back from drinking their beers and saw Ted sitting in the corner of the garage with crossed eyes, foam coming out of his mouth, and twitching his head.

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring bananaphone_

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring bananaphone_

"Your brother doesn't look too hot," Turbo noted dryly as he threw his empty beer bottle in the trash and headed back to his car.

Teddy walked over to his brother, now concerned about his mental state. He waved a hand in front of his eyes. "Bro, you okay?"

Suddenly, the song in Ted's head stopped. He collapsed and banged his head against the floor, blood pouring out of his eyes, nose, and mouth.

"OH MY GOD, TED!"

Turbo turned back when he heard Teddy screaming. "Holy shit, is he dead?"

Hands shaking, Teddy reached down to check Ted's pulse and breathing. Turbo inched forward slowly, not wanting to get too close.

"He's still breathing," Teddy sighed in relief. "We need to drive him somewhere. Like to Fix-It Felix's so he can heal him or whatever."

"Oh, f**k _that_," Turbo replied firmly, crossing his arms. "No way is he getting blood on _my_ seat."

"What the hell!" Teddy yelled at him angrily. "Son of a bitch, he's gonna die!"

"Use your own car, asshole."

Teddy glared at him. "You know, you hit him pretty hard with that wrench earlier. Pretty _damn_ hard."

Turbo glared back. "What you tryin' to say?"

"I say this bleeding is consistent with blunt force trauma to the head."

"You little shit," Turbo growled. "You saying I tried to kill him and now I'm covering it up?"

Out of nowhere, Teddy blanked out and heard this:

_I place a call around the world _

_Operator get me Beijing jing jing jing_

Turbo didn't notice that Teddy had stopped talking and he continued to ramble.

"As I recall, you were making fun of him right along with me when he started this whole shit. You little bastard, don't you _dare_ pin this on me!" He blinked and stared at Teddy funny.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked, snapping Teddy out of his funk.

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring bananaphone _

_Ying yang ying yang ying yang ying yananaphone_

Teddy looked around nervously and slowly got up. "Uh...yeah...that's cool, man. Um, listen...I gotta go."

"Oh no, you don't," Turbo snarled. "You're not leaving me here alone with your dead brother and running off to go blame it on me."

Teddy held his hands to his ears. The song was getting louder. "Shit! Shit! Gotta get out of here!" he muttered to himself.

Turbo backed up slowly. "The song...you hear it now, too, don't you?"

Teddy had a crazy look about him and he walked slowly towards his colleague. "Listen...this has nothing to do with you, man...just let me go get some help."

Turbo freaked out when Teddy got really close. "Don't f**king touch me!" he commanded, shoving Teddy onto the floor.

_It's a real live mama and papaphone _

_A brother and a sister and a dogophone_

"Oh my God!" Turbo cried, holding his hands over his ears. "You touched me! You little shit!"

Teddy's eyes widened as Turbo started going crazy and beat the shit out of his face. "No, wait, stop!"

"Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!" Turbo was screaming over and over.

He looked down at Teddy's corpse and then looked at his own bleeding hands.

_A grandpa phone and a grandma phone too, oh yeah _

_My cellular, bananular phone_

"Damn it! That didn't work!"

Turbo was all alone in his garage with only his two dead peers for company. The room was spinning as the song got louder and louder in his head.

"Why is this happening! Where the hell is it coming from? _Who's responsible for this_!"

He ran outside for fresh air and looked up outside his console's screen and saw where Litwak and put in a new game: _RoadBlasters_. Turbo's eyes bugged out. Another racing game! That was it! They brought the damn song with them! They were purposely trying to drive him crazy so he wouldn't be able to race anymore and then steal all his popularity!

"Curse you, _RoadBlasters_!" he shouted, waving his fist at the console.

_Bananaphone, ring ring ring It's a phone with a peel _

_Bananaphone, ring ring ring Now you can have your phone and eat it too _

**_TURBO-TASTIC!_**

_Bananaphone, ring ring ring This song drives me bananas! _

_Bananaphone, ring ring ring….._

_**Ten Minutes Later**_

Mr. Litwak shook his head as he unplugged both games. "Wonder what got into Turbo? Must've went cuckoo...like my nana. Oh well," he shrugged, heading back to his office. "Why do I suddenly want a banana?"

**THE END**


End file.
